Two Chorleywood Votes For Every City of London Resident!

Since the City of London is so unwilling to abolish both the business vote and its bicameral local political system (i.e. the office of alderman), let’s temporarily resolve the matter by giving all City residents two votes in Chorleywood. Mark Boleat, Chris Hayward and their cronies love the lack on democracy in the borough in which they get elected on business votes, so we’re sure they’ll welcome an adaptation of this system on their home turf!

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Hex In The Park: Cursing Out EC1 Ghost Homes

On Tuesday 31st October 2017 at noon, witches mounted a procession to hex the sites of two proposed ‘City fringe’ housing developments that threaten to overshadow popular local parks. They directed a deadly and hostile current of will at the proposed site of Taylor Wimpey’s The Denizen in Golden Lane, after cursing out the proposed St Luke’s Mansions housing development on the space currently occupied by the Finsbury Leisure Centre. The witches are not against more homes being built in the area but what they want to see is social housing for local people built to an appropriate scale and in appropriate places.

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Officially It’s The Denizen But To Locals It’s The Turd!

Central London is full of developments known by ridiculous names like The Shard, The Gherkin, The Walkie Talkie and The Cheesegrater. Many of these monikers are informally conferred on the buildings. While not yet built, The Denizen’s nickname The Turd is fitting because it absolutely stinks that the site was flogged off to Taylor Wimpey by the City of London, and then granted planning permission by the same local authority. It simultaneously underscores that Allford Hall Monaghan Morris broke the rule that architects shouldn’t shit on their own doorstep. That’s exactly what AHMM have done with The Turd, the site is a short walk from their Old Street office. The Denizen’s design makes it look like a toxic crap from another unloved local ghost home complex, The Bum, officially TP Bennett’s Bezier apartments on Old Street roundabout.

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The Denizen: Where Dumb Meets Stupid

The proposed site of The Denizen is a few metres inside the City of London borough boundary, and Taylor Wimpey make far more of this than the location warrants; essentially these will be City fringe properties and like other developments in EC1 they are being marketed as ghost home investments to speculators in South East Asia. Potential victims of Taylor Wimpey’s disingenuous sales pitch in South East Asia will already be familiar with Denizen as a clothes brand owned by Levis but with jeans sold at ‘cheap and cheerful’ prices compared to the company’s ‘original’ products. Although Taylor Wimpey tap into hype about cheap jeans, their proposed development is over-priced and dingy; and life inside it is likely to be ‘solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short’.

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Wiccans United Against Taylor Wimpey & The Denizen!

Witches from the Cripplegate Coven revealed today that they are directing a deadly and hostile current of Will against Taylor Wimpey and their new development The Denizen. A spokeswitch for the group informed Reclaim EC1 that everyone will soon see the results of these ongoing workings, which have put a curse on this unwanted building and will financially ruin any property speculator who invests in the Golden Lane ghost homes.

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Denizen Of The Dead: Flesh Eating Ghost Homes!

Inspired by classic horror movies and computer games including Black Ops II, Taylor Wimpey brings you a new central London development, The Denizen. Situated in Golden Lane on the border between Cripplegate and Finsbury, The Denizen hosts unique flesh eating ghost homes. The Denizen represents much more than a property investment, it is somewhere you can send an unwanted spouse and other troublesome relatives to die in agony. The Denizen is a gate to hell from which your tormentors will never return. Built over a medieval plague pit, The Denizen will scare the living daylights out of anyone who visits this pseudo-luxury apartment block. If ghouls don’t rip the entrails out of your unloved ones as they scream for mercy, that is only because your burdensome family members died of fright before being torn limb from limb!

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From Grenfell Tower to Gerrymander Mansions

Peter Deakins has just seen one project he oversaw that was designed to produce superior social housing destroyed with many lives lost by a cost-cutting refurbishment at Grenfell Tower; and he’ll soon see another in the form of the Golden Lane Estate damaged if Taylor Wimpey’s over-scaled development on the site of Bernard Morgan House goes ahead. Some flats on the Golden Lane Estate will lose as much as 70% of the light coming into them if Taylor Wimpey’s Gerrrymander Mansions is built.

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