Is it a burger bar? Is it a Wetherspoons? No, it’s The Denizen!

Children who don’t know The Denizen is a block of luxury flats tend to assume it’s some sort of fast food joint, and so when the hoardings first appeared it wasn’t unusual to hear kids saying things like: “Mummy can we go there to get a pizza?” The entrance interior looks remarkably similar to those of local J. D. Wetherspoon budget chain pubs such as the Masque Haunt on the corner of Old Street and Bunhill Row, or the Sir John Oldcastle on Farringdon Road. Once children understand the building is a block of supposedly luxury flats, it isn’t unusual to hear them cry: “But why would anyone live there? It’s so ugly!”

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Officially It’s The Denizen But To Locals It’s The Turd!

Central London is full of developments known by ridiculous names like The Shard, The Gherkin, The Walkie Talkie and The Cheesegrater. Many of these monikers are informally conferred on the buildings. While not yet built, The Denizen’s nickname The Turd is fitting because it absolutely stinks that the site was flogged off to Taylor Wimpey by the City of London, and then granted planning permission by the same local authority. It simultaneously underscores that Allford Hall Monaghan Morris broke the rule that architects shouldn’t shit on their own doorstep. That’s exactly what AHMM have done with The Turd, the site is a short walk from their Old Street office. The Denizen’s design makes it look like a toxic crap from another unloved local ghost home complex, The Bum, officially TP Bennett’s Bezier apartments on Old Street roundabout.

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Another Culture Mile Branding Fail!

The City of London has plenty of money and if it wants to waste it on an overly flash middlebrow music venue in order to provide further opportunities for corporate junkets, so be it. But the local council should also face the fact their mood muzak is of little or no interest to many local residents. If they want to buy us off why don’t they match the money they intend to spend on Sir Baby Rattle’s pet project on new social housing within City of London boundaries? Building council flats would provide far greater benefit for the area than the City’s LSO folly; and it ought to be obvious Culture Mile ‘pop ups’ are too cheap and cheesy to act as bribes.

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Denizen Property Investors Go To Hell!

Fraudulent Denizen promotional blurb aimed at residential property investors: “The Barbican is the ancient heart of the City of London, a place steeped in history. During the 17th century, it attracted the entrepreneurial, the conspiring and the artistic. In the area’s many coffeehouses, plans were laid, and great minds met. William Shakespeare, Ben Johnson and John Milton all worked here. It’s a legacy we see today in the Barbican Centre and the City’s enterprising spirit.” The Barbican Complex is actually a world-class example of brutalist architecture built around fifty years ago. It is located in a neighbourhood called Cripplegate, and it lies beyond the original city wall; obviously this is not ‘the ancient heart of the City of London’ because it was not actually a part of the original city at all, it lay outside it! Likewise, in Shakespeare and Johnson’s time the area was notorious for its brothels. This is why Johnson among others refers to the place as Pict-hatch; which was also the name for the studded split entry doors that were a feature of bawdy houses of that time. Taylor Wimpey should be reported to the Advertising Standards Authority for their blatant misrepresentation of Cripplegate Without’s location and history!

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