We Demand Votes For The Dead In The City of London!

The City of London is the only local authority in the UK to retain the business vote, and this gives the dead hand of finance control of the council while simultaneously depriving local residents of a proper democratic voice. If non-residents can vote in the City of London why not let the dead vote too? Of course, the potential number of dead voters is far larger than those who get the business vote, but that will make the contest fairer since there is nothing just about non-residents being able to vote.

In Symbolic Exchange and Death the dead French sociologist Jean Baudrillard suggested cemeteries were the first ghettos; the dead were gradually expelled from town centres and forced to urban peripheries. In the interests of social inclusion and cohesion we wish to see the dead reintegrated into civic society by giving them votes in the City of London. Likewise we want to create a world in which life and death are seen as partners in symbolic exchanges between the two. This will show that we are in sympathy with African understandings of death and reject European bigotry about those who no longer breathe. In traditional African societies people were not considered dead until they had passed from living memory. Due to Brexit, it is more urgent than ever that the UK joins the African Union, and decolonising death will smooth the path to this process.

The dead are the people who made London the great city it is today, without them it would be nothing, so they deserve a vote too! And don’t forget that without your dead ancestors you wouldn’t be alive either! More worryingly, the dead of London are angry about the demolition of Bernard Morgan House and they have encouraged demonic entities to gather at the site. If they dead are placated they’ll encourage the demons that have collected at 43 Golden Lane to depart; giving them the vote is a good way of making amends for the terrible errors of Michael Bear, Chris Hayward, James Thomson, Mark Boleat, the Housing & Finance Institute and others.

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Of course, the dead will have to be registered to vote and this will entail the employment of reputable psychics to assist them in what must be a robust and rigorous process. We will also need seers and clairvoyants to determine how the dead wish to cast their ballots when there are local elections. All this might appear a little strange in a regular democracy, but local government in the City of London is not democratic, and allowing the dead to vote is no more off-key than letting non-residents have business votes. The real zombies are the City of London establishment. Let the dead vote!

Sylvia Pankhurst on behalf of the Addis Ababa Section of the Committee for the Rehabilitation of Dead Workers (Groucho-Marxist).

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