Denizen Of The Dead: Flesh Eating Ghost Homes!

Inspired by classic horror movies and computer games including Black Ops II, Taylor Wimpey brings you a new central London development, The Denizen. Situated in Golden Lane on the border between Cripplegate and Finsbury, The Denizen hosts unique flesh eating ghost homes. The Denizen represents much more than a property investment, it is somewhere you can send an unwanted spouse and other troublesome relatives to die in agony. The Denizen is a gate to hell from which your tormentors will never return. Built over a medieval plague pit, The Denizen will scare the living daylights out of anyone who visits this pseudo-luxury apartment block. If ghouls don’t rip the entrails out of your unloved ones as they scream for mercy, that’s only because your burdensome family members died of fright before being torn limb from limb!

0DenizenGoldenLaneZombie

Denizen: A person who inhabits or regularly frequents a particular place. The Denizen is an enemy added in Zombie Mode, Black Ops II. They only spawn in our apartment block’s basement. Denizens have low health and can be killed before they leap on buy-to-leave investors. Their health when leaping does scale with that of the zombies. If a property investor or one of their relatives try to stay the night in their ghost home, a Denizen will emerge from the plague pit in our basement and start shrieking that they want to bring democracy to the City of London. As it eats its victim’s flesh the ghoul will explain why this development is known as Gerrymander Mansions!

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7 thoughts on “Denizen Of The Dead: Flesh Eating Ghost Homes!

  1. I’ve been around for over 3,000 years so I can confirm that Taylor Wimpey’s planned development will indeed occupy the site of a former plague pit. Even before those nasty ghouls get to the residents there is a pretty good chance they might succumb to bubonic plague.
    Here is a helpful check list of signs symptoms:
    Fever and chills.
    Extreme weakness.
    Abdominal pain, diarrhea and vomiting.
    Bleeding from your mouth, nose or rectum, or under your skin.
    Shock.
    Blackening and death of tissue (gangrene) in your extremities, most commonly your fingers, toes, nose and genitals.

    You can find more details on the Mayo clinic website although frankly by the time you’re turning black and bleeding out of your arse you’re probably a gonner.

    And if you are wondering why the police and nurses who lived in BMH were immune it’s probably because as front line workers they were routinely vaccinated. Public Health England have been concerned about a recurrence of the plague for some time but the vaccine is not available to the general public or commercially due to its prohibitive cost which per vaccine is approximately equivalent to the asking price for a studio apartment in the Denizen.

    And investors remember that if you need a first responder to attend to you urgently it’s unlikely that there will be one available in the immediate area because they’ve all been forced out of the City by overdevelopment.

    Now that’s what I call Karma!

    Liked by 1 person

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